Well David, I think you already know the answer to this question, seeing as YOU WERE BORN THERE. The only thing more awful than people like me is people like you. You just up and left LI to move to a gross terrible garbage dump named Hartford. Not even a sport as tough and grimy as Hockey wanted anything to do with that place. I bet you wanted to come back to Long Island so badly while the inner city kids were ripping you a new asshole.

In all honesty though, Dave wouldn’t be as funny as he is if he didn’t have to make people laugh to avoid getting his ass kicked & I wouldn’t be so fiercely independent if I didn’t have a place I so badly disliked to run away from. I also wouldn’t know so many awesome Jewish cultural facts and know all the words to every Billy Joel song ever written. So, I love Long Island. Good, bad, or ugly it’s a part of me and I wouldn’t wish to have grown up anywhere else. I could do without the guidos though. I think we all could do without that.